Asenath Waite ⋅ 51
Asperger's, plus PTSD, or very possibly Borderline Personality disorder; with severe anxiety, and antisocial traits. Hell hath no fury like a long undiagnosed aspie whose been kicked around her entire life. I lack the subtlety or the brawn to be a serial killer, so I'll write about it instead, and see if that helps at all; though I doubt it very seriously.
"I know that light is not for me; yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men."
Entries 80
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The Lovecraft subreddit hates me. in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
I’ve been reading Lovecraft since I was introduced to his stories in eighth grade. I’ve always read faster, and more easily, than my peers. It’s called hyperlexia, and it’s common among people wi...
Crappy menopausal watercolor doodle. in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
I’m in too much pain to stand and cook, I can’t focus well enough to work on my VR Chat world in Unity, and I’m too exhausted to even think about adult responsibilities aside from feeding the fuz...
Sometimes the internet is a curse, being able to look up anything, anyone, any place. I mentioned my conservative uncle’s girlfriend on Reddit, the fact that she called me a “parasite” for receiv...
Survey, because why not. in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
“CAN YOU FILL THIS OUT WITHOUT LYING?” Are all of the girls who make these in high school? That's a line straight out of a poorly written teen movie. What was the last food you ate? Burgers from...
In VR it’s quite pretty. Here’s a crummy, low res clip of it: It took four hours. Then I thought I’d copy and past the tree a few times, and make a little scene, with a stream and a few animals...
I did not, in fact, make it to the shower. in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
I spent three and a half hours playing with Open Brush instead, making giant, glowing crystals in several shapes, colors, and configurations. Which was incredibly fun, but not productive in any w...
I'm in love with Open Brush in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
And I found a discord server for Pagans in VR. And I learned that things made with Open Brush can be put into worlds in VR Chat. So adding all of that together, obviously I’m building a world to...
My therapist has a fairy frightening medical condition. in The Big, Blue, House. Year two.
My therapist has a scary, potentially fatal heart condition. I don’t know her age, but she’s referenced her father when I talk about the past, as in “My dad told me about…”, so I gather I’m old e...
I am enraptured by VR Chat. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Hyperfixation is the term. My current line of thinking is that everyone should be using VR. It is awesome, and since the only way to properly appreciate it is to try it, I think everyone should d...
One more time. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I spent the day going though the old inventory, and making tee shirt designs on the tablet. Don spent the day cutting vinyl on the Silhouette, and learning how to get the design even and the bla...
Seriously, this thing is gorgeous. With the new customer promo codes it was $33.64. It’s probably not real sterling silver, as there’s no maker’s mark “925”, and I haven’t used a diamond tester...
On the friends and family members I've outlived. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
And their causes of death. This is a long list. Judging by the weight and substance abuse among my remaining loved ones and old school friends, I’m going to be the last one standing. I don’t und...
My ongoing obsession. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
A friend in Denmark commented on a video clip I put on Facebook from VR Chat. He asked, “What’s it about?” He doesn’t play video games, and while his English is fabulous, he doesn’t understand so...
Current Mood in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Don’t poke the bear, people. Asperger’s, borderline, anxiety, and antisocial traits. It’s a confection wherein I have no chill. The patience burned up decades ago. At my core there is a cornere...
Holy freaking crap VR Chat. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Someone on r/Aspergers mentioned VR Chat, so I thought I’d take a look, and now I keep forgetting to eat. The compulsion to see everything is great in an MMO, with set geographic boundaries, but ...
Assorted quotidian tedium in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I bought an air fryer. I’m generally no good at cooking, so the hope is that it would allow me to cook my own food. Constantly asking Don to fry me some eggplant or catfish when he doesn’t eat th...
Why I haven't been here in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Well my computer is on the 3rd floor. And my bedroom is on the 2nd floor. And I haven’t been playing Guild Wars 2 in a couple weeks, which had been my primary purpose for coming up here. So yeah....
I'm not dead. (As of this writing, anyway.) in The Big, Blue House, year one.
And I have no explanation for my disappearance. I just get too wrapped up in one thing to do others, and everything takes me ages longer than it does “normal” people, and that’s that. I’ve been ...
Wherein I rant about Wal-Mart. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
I prefer to buy my cat food from Chewy, but Wal-Mart had/has one-day shipping, so while I wait for the Chewy order to get here from Florida, (Why is it in Florida? It’s not exactly a centralized ...
One of my favorite weird facts. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Because the comments were locked on the post I wanted to put it on, while I was typing it. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ When a corpse is embalmed, at least in the US, the blood is poured down the dr...
Wherein I post a screenshot from GW2 in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Because my main character is just too ridiculous at this point not to. Behold my sheer absurdity and weep, for you shall never be this ridiculous. Yes, I realize no one cares. But it did take s...
Another circumnavigation of the Sun. Part Two. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Don got a cake from the store. Chocolate with boston cream filling, and put little pre-made sugar letters and stars on it. He presented me with that, and two wrapped packages this morning. The pa...
I need opinions. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
On Yuletide gifts for The Male. I’m down to just the last of the “filler” presents, and if I get both of these, I’ll go over our pre-agreed monetary limit. So if you were a guy, would you rather ...
On migraines and The Male. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
Migraines with nausea are the best thing ever. I recommend them to everyone. Particularly when they’re caused and accompanied by unexpected hormonal fluctuations that also cause arthritis-like sw...
Survey, because I ought to make an entry. in The Big, Blue House, year one.
But the Benadryl I’m on for a sinus infection makes thinking of a topic difficult. 1.) What were you doing at 11 last night? Watching “Shrouded Hand” on YouTube, and vegetating on antihistamines...
