Jeanie ⋅ 38

38 year old momma of two just logging this life. Journey to healing and acknowledgment.

Be true to yourself

Entries 10

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4 days ago

Small Spaces in 2021

I never quite got this phrase - “take up space” until yesterday. I made the connection that my voice is minimized so much at home that I get paranoid in other interactions, worried someone views...


5 days ago

Today I feel in 2021

Unsure of how to proceed. He’s noticing I’m different. I did give in to sex a few days ago. Don’t regret it. But I’m just not reacting to anything. I’m not myself and he knows it. When he got ba...


June 04, 2021

Discovery in 2021

So I’ve been reviewing old entries from OD from 2009 through 2012. It looks to me like I was used to help him win custody. Details point to it. In January 2011, we had one of the worst fights we...


May 30, 2021

Jumbled in 2021

Im changing my screen name to be less identifiable. I know some of this might just look like an endless stream of random memories but there’s so much I am remembering that was forgotten. Here’s...


May 28, 2021

Disengage in 2021

So today, just a little bit ago I did something. I had to see for myself. We had just gotten home from a memorial service for a veteran. SG was asking for something to eat. She got a bowl of bl...


May 27, 2021

Thursday May 27 in 2021

Just logging things that I might forget: One recurring situation that stands out in my mind is that when I am reprimanded, its as if I’m a child. And the times I have mentioned as such, I get som...


May 25, 2021

I Think He Has NPD in 2021

New direction for my journal. I have come to a point in my life where my reality has been questioned. Some days I feel like I’m looking at a stranger. Then, an hour later I just want to forget wh...


February 08, 2020

Since December...Much To Say... in 2020

In December I was having so many emotions regarding this situation we are in. Today, I can breathe. The day we have been waiting for since May has come and gone. The preliminary hearing went real...


December 23, 2019

I Hope You... in 2019 -The Worst Year

It wouldn’t have mattered if I said I loved you one more time or hugged you one more time. You took my daughters’ youth and created memories I only wish they miraculously forget. Nothing I did c...


November 26, 2019

Self-Deprication in 2019 -The Worst Year

So this morning I had a fight with my brain. It’s as if it finds new ways to tear me down, almost daily. Just literally responded to a comment about this very topic. Therapy has been an asset to...


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