Athena
Entries 88
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January 5 in Never Say Never
Yesterday was a 5. Neither exceptionally good nor exceptionally bad. Anxiety was mostly at bay. I did yoga for an hour, ate vegan, napped for a hour, worked 1.75 billable hours, knitted, finishe...
January 3 in Never Say Never
I am up early this morning because I went to sleep before 7 pm last night. However, I am ready to take a nap. I think of sleeping my life away, and in theory it seems like a waste, but in practic...
January 2 in Never Say Never
I am Facebook sober for more than 24 hours. This should not feel like the accomplishment it does, but, well, it does feel that way. It’s not that I intend to quit Facebook, but in the interest of...
Oof in Never Say Never
This morning is tough.
List in Never Say Never
I need to make a list of all the crap so I can refer to it constantly instead of feeling so heartbroken.
Done in Never Say Never
There’s a scene in Girls where Shoshanna and Ray have broken up and she’s explaining to him that she doesn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with her. “That’s called self-respect,”...
To be continued in Never Say Never
Wednesday night we had a wonderful dinner, like an actual date, with a where-would-you-like-to-go? and do-you-want-to-grab-one-more-drink? after, with tiny kisses and candelight and snuggling in ...
Something to look forward to ... in Never Say Never
There is theory that there are just three things humans need to be happy: Work they find rewarding, people who make them feel loved, and something to look forward to. I spent the weekend exercis...
As if what? in Never Say Never
I tell him this morning that I am thinking of leaving for a month. To spend Christmas with my family, my birthday with my friends, a few weeks at the beach. He says, “That sounds like a program.”...
It's been a sux few days - now with even more sux in Never Say Never
Since I’ve been back from Alabama, here’s what my life has looked like: Being ignored by my boyfriend from the time he got off work until the time we went to dinner. Paying for an expensive dinn...
All of Us in Never Say Never
On Friday night an old high school lover cried and begged me to marry him. It was sweet but also sad. The picture he painted of what he wanted for our lives together were the words I have longed ...
Things in Never Say Never
Things are fine here. The sads have lifted some. I have not been fired from Pilates yet. But it is still nerve-wracking and a whole lot of nonsense for a job that’s just four hours a week. I ca...
Sad Face in Never Say Never
There are a handful of words that just keep swirling around in my head. They are heartbroken inconsolable disaster sad lonely grief Do you want to write a story for our “Train Wreck” show, the di...
Someday... in Never Say Never
I will write this story: Pilates is not going that great. More details to come, but long story short is that I don’t have the right “energy” to teach uppity Uptowners and I have been banished to ...
I Don't Understand People in Never Say Never
I got a barrage of abusive text messages in the middle of the night from a “friend” I have known more than 20 years. He and I haven’t spoken since the spring, and I thought we were on very good t...
Six Annoying Things and One Not in Never Say Never
The BF just sent me an email, a love note of sorts, and it made my heart flip-flop a little bit. How cool is that? I am a very busy bee, tied to my desk, writing. It’s annoying me. Other annoying...
It's All Good, Sort Of in Never Say Never
I sold an essay about little Bogey, about how I wasn’t there to let him go, about how it surprised me to not be gutted by that betrayal, about how this is actually something that happens – people...
Homesick in Never Say Never
I am incredibly homesick in a way I have not been in a long while. I fantasize about casseroles, my beach house, even being with my annoying/disappointing family (gasp!). I fantasize about some k...
Bang (Now as It Was Meant to Be) in Never Say Never
I want to bang something out real quick. (That line first came out “I want to bang someone.” How’s that for a Freudian slip?) I have been deeply worried about the severance ending. It goes withou...
Time Keeps on Slippin' in Never Say Never
“Life changes fast. Life changes in the instant. You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.” — Joan Didion It’s like I am living in a time warp, I swear. The days are long enough, I gue...
It in Never Say Never
It's brilliant when he's not being a dick. It's brilliant when I am not analyzing his every blink, his every breath for some sign of it falling apart. It's mostly brilliant, as we're not doing to...
Closed in Never Say Never
I have been reading the final draft of a friend's memoir. It's an incredible story and I can't wait for the world to see it. You, Tinkle and Bob, will be the first people I send it to. Sitting o...
Humility in Never Say Never
Yesterday, while I was running errands, I was listening to Think Radio on KERA. The show was called “Two of a Kind,” and it was a discussion of creative collaboration and brilliant partnerings. T...
Minibreak in Never Say Never
He has been away. Gone to New York City for a long weekend with work friends. I have been here. Home with our pets. His and mine. Home in his house. Where I spend most of my time now. I joke that...
The Flowers in Never Say Never
He reappeared on a day when my life had already been ruptured – just another text message amid a shower of text messages the evening of the day I lost my job of nine years. It was unconnected to ...
