Entries 8

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I fucked up my chances for sure. I knew if I lost my cool it would cost me. Its true we should be apart for a while but I still miss her. I don’t know if that will pass but my need for her to be ...

June 13, 2018

It ain't easy in First Journal

I really wanted to be with her for the rest of my life. Maybe this is a test to see if I’m worthy. So far, its not looking good. I have been too needy and too forward with my feelings. It seems l...

June 08, 2018

Morning in First Journal

I didn’t have a dream or trouble sleeping last night. Today is my Friday but I have found some work for the weekend to fill my days and refill my pockets. I admit my first thought every day is st...

June 07, 2018

I dream again in First Journal

I haven’t had any dreams I can remember for a long time. That is until about a month ago, a couple weeks after my love left me. Some say I don’t dream because I smoke pot. I guess this could be t...

June 07, 2018

Goals in First Journal

It’s funny how much I want the instant gratification of her taking me back right now. It would feel great but it is unearned. I see other men in their cars driving with their women in the passeng...

June 04, 2018

Crazy in First Journal

I think I’ve gone mad. To think this might work out well for me. The more I think about it the more I realize I would have to be a different person. I am too nice. Maybe if I can find a half way ...

June 03, 2018

All day in First Journal

How do I distract myself? I tried cleaning my house. Taking a trip to and playing my drums. Smoked pot. Placed another woman in front of me that wants my attention. Called friends. Played video g...

June 03, 2018

6AM in First Journal

I don’t know exactly what it is about her. Is it because she denied me and my pride can’t take it? Or because I know she deserved better and I want to be better for her and myself? I fear losing ...

Books 1

8 Entries