BulletWithButterflyWings ⋅

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Annoyed. I’m able to detach now at least. I used to get so wrapped up in his moods. Debate back and forth about why he shouldn’t feel that way or try to get him to see my side of things. If I kno...


Make the kids play outside more. Give them activities instead of telling them to go play or be quiet. Spend more quality time with them so they aren’t constantly trying to get my attention. Just ...


4 days ago

spurts in My nothingness

kept myself busy yesterday, getting much needed things done. i def have spurts. get everything done ive been putting off for months. the next day is always a drag. ive cleaned a couple things and...


My newly acquired friend’s husband just died. I never met him but from the looks of things he was a nice, quirky, funny man and they loved each other very very much. He has been dizzy for 2 years...


The energy my kids constantly have. The fact that my husband does absolutely nothing with us. It’s me all day with the kids and then all weekend without any break. It’s pretty much like we don’...


Sitting in my house. The only thing different about today is it’s raining. Husband on computer, looking at houses, playing chess, ordering tools. 8 year old playing games on iPad, 3 year old boun...


It makes me feel good and I know it makes him feel good. I love doing whatever he asks me to do. It frees me up and pushes me out of my shell. I have come so far in the past year and it’s all bec...


I turn in to a self conscious whiny mess and I hate it. Whenever I open up about anything I go to feeling and thinking like that person just wants to get away from me. If I don’t open up I don’t...


Master sent me oscillating ben wa balls to help improve my openness and satisfaction with sex. I’ve had a total of 5 sexual partners in my life and have been married for more than 10 years but I ...


Yes, very much. It has been boosted exponentially in the last year. I lost myself within the last 10 or so. Bogged down with self doubt and anxiety. That has lifted for the most part. I feel like...


I don’t know how to let my guard down and expect that it will be good. Anything I thought would be good wasn’t and if it was I’ve always had a crash after. So I think if I don’t feel good I can’t...


May 12, 2018

Writing... in My nothingness

I don’t think I have anything to say but I’m going to try to write anyway. I’ve been braless all day. It’s really no big deal until I accidentally see someone and forget that I was. Then it’s all...


that I need reassurance and validation. I wish he knew that all I need is a simple “that looks good” instead of every bad thing he thinks about it. I think he’s gotten better now that I understan...


May 10, 2018

Waiting in My nothingness

I hate waiting around for things. I waste all my time and energy waiting. I make myself more nervous than if I could just go do it. I have other things to do but if I have that one thing that’s a...


May 01, 2018

Trapped again in My nothingness

I’m trapped under my 3yo again. He will nap if he’s snuggled against me. I have to get ready to go to the dentist for a cleaning. I mean I’m ready but… I get nervous going places. I need to pace ...


April 30, 2018

Buried in My nothingness

My 3yo found an unopened, unlabeled bottle of water buried in the back yard. He says “Carl” must have buried it. Fyi Carl was a cat that randomly passed thru our yard a couple times. My 8yo named...


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