Crofter C ⋅ 38

I'm completely f'ing mental apparently - though really I believe I am actually normal and the rest of you are shoe-horning yourselves into boxes that really don't suit you. I believe in love and happiness, you never know when your number is up so live each day as you want to be remembered.

"If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten."

Tony Robbins

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Don’t worry not embarrassing or TMIy so you can read if you know me in real life. But first a little boast - I have worked so AMAZINGLY today, I’ve actually got on top of the laundry … IN AUGUST...


I feel guilty. But I’m not sure why. I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong. But I feel like someone is angry with me and I’m going to get in big trouble soon. My ears are burning. I’m afraid. I...


A chaos of clutter. It’s clinging round my ankles and preventing me from moving forward. I need to turn around and look at the terrible muddle. I know this. I must turn and face it. It can be sor...


Teachers are fucking saints, honestly they are, HOW do they cope with kids who struggle to learn? After 5 minutes with Winston in one of his avoidance moods and I want to break something or screa...


My heart is broken. I do know that I can’t really have what I want in love and that I am greedy even hoping for it when I have been given so much more luck and love in my life. Deep down, I know ...


(Inspired by Melting Moments) Dear Universe, Firstly may I thank you for providing everything I ever ask for, and apologise for not being clearer when making my demands of you. Thank you for of...


I’ve had a wee issue that was worrying me, I didn’t have a coat and I couldn’t afford one. Well, even if I could, I’d have spent my money on something better than a new coat, but there was nothin...


Well, I say love-letter, if you can call a short note written in felt-tip containing a joke about HIV (which would be wildly inappropriate even if he wasn’t the last person I had unprotected sex ...


It is blatantly clear from my bookmarks that falling in love with the man you are meant to be casually fucking is a thing. Of course it is, contraception and air-travel are new things, in the pas...


It won’t be the same you know. I’m going to keep on ploughing forward, the past is gone, you can’t return. The future is where we’re going, but the present is where it’s at.


A wee experiment for all who read this. (Inspiration and a test for myself not a test of you.) No right or wrong, no comeback on you. Leave a note please, anything at all, I don’t want to guide ...


I shouldn’t be here, but Winston’s constructing and I’ve not got enough time to start something of worth. Our day changed, we got to the bus stop with 1 minute to spare and it sped past us becaus...


Urgh! So serious news programs will be out today. Something shit happened. My only friend in that city happens to be in Athens (volunteering being a dentist for poor kids … I know so many angels!...


I bought myself a new notebook last time I was in town, it was meant for notes and poems when out and about and so I had something to work in when I thought I was still going to do the course. (I...


OK final apology. I know I do not need to beg forgiveness from the people who live within my diary but I am so very ashamed of myself for so much of my behaviour. Obviously I’ve acted like a comp...


Sorry again, everyone else aren’t ridiculous pathetic sheeples, they’re just a whole lot braver than me. Wrist is proper fucked, hoping doc will see it this afternoon or tomorrow. Not working tom...


Sorry. Not only for the last entry but for the last 3 years. What a ridiculous, pathetic, easily led imbecile I was. I threw away a perfectly serviceable marriage because it lacked a man-made c...


I got used. You know when I saw him a few days after our first night together and he gave me a look that I interpreted as Oh Shit! but I told myself to stop being paranoid? It was Oh Shit! wasn’t...


Go on, guess … … … I dropped my phone! SMASH!!! And … I busted my wrist! I ‘m beginning to think I pissed on a leprechaun! But never mind. I’m seeing this as a challenge to remain in good humou...


Sooooooo. What a lovely day I’ve had. NOOOOT! My new car’s fucked. It’s going to be another £250 or more to fix. I think I need to say enough is enough. So I’m going to have to cancel my work th...


My period came this morning! My cycle is all over the place, I don’t know if I’m coming or going, it’s dreadfully inconvenient (put brand new white knickers on today!) At least there was a reaso...


Oh what a truly marvellous day today was. It was wonderfully brilliant in every way. (Even the bits that weren’t.) I suppose we could say today started about midnight as I decided there was nothi...


August 13, 2017

The Mirror in A Better Kind Of Dragon

I can never understand why people get offended when I don’t get in touch for weeks. I’ve expected gentlemen to turn up, when told, pleasure me and feck off when I’m finished so I can do my thing ...


It’s fear. I’m brave. Attitude problem will be sorted ASAP. And I’ll probably have sex too. edit It was. I did. Wow!!!


Hope I get the sexy guy ( though I’ve a massive spot and no makeup on.) I do hope my car is mendable. Winston is occupied, I thought I’d write, but appear to have a block… By the way, I’m a bit ...


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