Entries 17
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Loss
I believe it was around the 9th of June. I was not in a good place. I was sleeping in the living room but I couldn’t sleep. Things just weren’t right in any plane of my life. And I was processing...
Friday
Pain in my back for a while. Took it as a sign or an opportunity to stop and rest and maybe take stock. But I’m not best at taking stock so I just rested. And it mostly worked. Except I’ve really...
Caffeine
I’m pretty sure I have to drop it.
My Voice
It had to be done at some point. I had to go back and read the few entries that I wrote here not so long ago. The day will come when I need to go further back. The trouble now is that I want to ...
Hello world.
“In the past, I believe that I’ve derived no real pleasure or relief from writing about attractions that I have had. The pure joy comes from the thinking and imagining. No reality - even the touc...
The Conversation not yet had
From time to time, I want to talk to someone. It is a compulsion. But I do think writing or drawing or using energy to create something in some way is better. My head is still divided. I have tal...
The Poker and the Fire
I thought about deleting the entries prior to this. I have been able to slide back into my own dreamworld again though. I realised this morning that the only way for me to keep it and manage it,...
Metrics
I hate the word "Metrics." It is connected with work. The title is based on this article on Metrics of Attraction - http://www.nytimes.com/2014/07/15/science/the-advanced-metrics-of-attraction.h...
This is quite lonely
After some time, this has started to feel a little isolated. More isolated than when I began my OD so long ago. The internet was quite different back then to begin with. It was novel to pitch a f...
God-Awful Sound
Now, there are coincidences and happen-chance where a skull or a song is ironically there ... hard to explain those times. But you know those times. You're taken unawares by the irony of a song o...
Adagio Religioso
I was going to look up Flouride controversy documentaries and study anything objective but there is nothing out there except madness. So I listened to a Ted talk that led me to Bela Bartok and th...
Paper Thin Door...
Walking home yesterday evening I thought about how close I was coming to thinking insane thoughts. This is probably the third time that this has worried me. But this time, I'm not under any inord...
The Games People Play
- TED talks: Michael Shermer: The pattern behind self-deception: http://www.ted.com/talks/michaelshermerthepatternbehindselfdeception I am Joe's Body by J.D. Radcliffe: http://www.arvindguptato...
As I listen to WTNV
The walking dead arose this morning to get in my car and drive to the train station. I stopped for a moment to take in the sea that reminds me of mornings as a kid and reminding myself how lucky ...
20 Minutes
The magic of the garden on a dark and rainy day. It makes me feel homesick and yet at home. It is Springtime and the music that I’m listening to is spooky and inspirational. I feel it washing me ...
Adjustments..
I feel like I never needed a touchstone more. If I stop and allow it, the dark ogre inside me is almost visible sometimes. The difficulty in explaining with writing seems only to increase. But mo...
It is time
It is the beginning and it is the end. It is somewhere along the line between the two. New days are the same as the old days except they have a kernel of hope. This morning on the train journey...
Book Description
It is confusing to begin again. It is a little bit strange to be in a new place. It takes some time to get your feet under the table and relax. Once you get established in the new nook, then you can start to make real decisions about how you want things to look and where they should be. But for now, while settling in, this is the disorientated thoughts of Dakini.
