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spectrality

by |amphetamine|

Entries 211

Page 1 of 9

November 19, 2020

12:38

i notice my vision loss more and more. computer screens are rough because i have to enlarge the text to not get ‘lost’ in it, but either way the words all start to feel a bit swimmy after a while...


November 15, 2020

3:52

having all of our parents fall prey to the most ridiculous, garbage, conman conspiracy theories truly has to be one of the circles of hell. i am exhausted, tired of spending my spare mental cycl...


October 13, 2020

2:22

on the topic of dreams, for the past few years i had a steady increase in a certain type of… nightmare? or just an annoyance. in these dreams, i would have such trouble seeing. over the course of...


August 31, 2020

10:28

my sense of smell is a little better, but i still hate the way the inside of my nose smells. i don’t smell it all of the time, maybe just half the time. i don’t know why it’s just sometimes. in a...


August 28, 2020

11:09

i’m improving! after 3 straight weeks of daily headaches, it’s been three days now that i haven’t had one. i’m amazed and really happy. i hope that means the headache phase is over and my brain i...


August 21, 2020

1:33

one more thing- loss of sense of smell. the support group has tons of posts on it where it comes up frequently enough as a topic– and others have shared their experiences. they really run the gam...


August 19, 2020

10:54

i’m doing pretty good now. the journey since surgery has been interesting. by far the worst was the first 24-hour period following surgery… and then the 2nd worst, was the 24-hour period after th...


August 05, 2020

2:22

i am alive! my brain was fixed! the surgeon thinks he got it all. haha, he’s so cool. i was laying in the bed in the pre-op holding room before the procedure and he just came all sauntering in al...


July 31, 2020

1:58

getting close! yesterday dono and i drove to houston and i did my pre-op assessment, CT, MRI, EKG, blood testing, urinalysis, and 1st covid test. tomorrow we go back and do my 2nd covid test. if ...


July 24, 2020

10:11

it wasn’t worth it. i dropped the course. on wednesday we had our 3rd exam. now normally we meet M/W, 5:40-7:40 pm. the all-important syllabus (which as we saw last entry, he thought was infallib...


July 20, 2020

5:49

holy fuck. the professor i talked about in my last entry? he. was. a. jerk. and once he started being a jerk, he felt like he had to double down and keep being a jerk. he is an older white man an...


July 19, 2020

10:19

ok so august 3rd is the date. apparently the surgeon is going on vacation starting the 10th, so that settled it. lots to do… i emailed my summer class professors (you know, the ones i am taking j...


July 15, 2020

11:32

i’m good, tired. we made it to houston and back yesterday in the same day. at my appointment with the endocrinologist, (among other expected things) she also pointed out my T4 thyroid level is ve...


July 13, 2020

9:58

neurosurgeon appointments tomorrow in houston. dono’s driving over with me <3. for once, for the first time with any of this i think, he’s allowed to come in to the appointments with me, inste...


July 10, 2020

1:45

our small claims filing was accepted, so that’s a load off. now we just sit and wait… for justice. against landlords! i know we have only just bought our first ever house, but if, through the yea...


July 08, 2020

12:45

in not-health news our former landlord withheld our security deposit too long and THEN lied that he already sent it to try and cover up that it was late, and THEN “reissued” the check, which arri...


July 07, 2020

9:59

over! done! did it. all the way up until i was lying there in the bed and the anesthesiologist came in to chat with me, i wasn’t clear if i would be under full sedation. i was worried it might be...


July 06, 2020

9:47

almost there. appointment starts at 12:30pm. let’s get it over! can’t wait to eat real food again! dono’s driving me and getting us poke after <3 hope i just kinda sleep through it tbh. the ...


July 05, 2020

2:22

i slept ok but i still woke up uh, with stuff to do. my stomach feels stable now though. today is the last day of the prep, i can only drink clear liquids for the day and i’m supposed to drink a ...


July 05, 2020

12:01

this diary is just gonna turn into a health log for a while i fear. part of my pituitary tumor is that i have increased levels of growth hormone circulating throughout my body, and likely have f...


June 03, 2020

8:58

did my MRI yesterday [it was super uneventful, i had to pre-medicate because allergy to the contrast dye, which also meant i was super sleepy and indeed just straight-up fell asleep while it was ...


May 25, 2020

9:38

ok yeah so it’s a brain tumor. so that’s neat! i am not too worried but i am looking forward to the pain being gone. wooh. arthritis in every joint, all of the time. who knew the pituitary could ...


May 21, 2020

9:20

gonna sound wild but i think i have a brain tumor?! pending some testing which is gonna come back monday, but ya that’s the current thinking. it would explain a lot though.


November 04, 2019

12:23

no yeah i have more to say. i don’t know what i’m doing. like i don’t know if we are even compatible or not. we are about to enter our 4th year together and we just feel so at odds sometimes. lik...


November 04, 2019

9:29

i quit my job. i quit about a month ago actually. i’ve been enjoying the funemployment. yesterday i finally started looking for new jobs, i even applied to one yesterday - an SRE position at a g...


Book Description

i guess i am officially making the switch from opendiary… it is down and i need to write.