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2018!

by Melanin Monroe.

Entries 47

Page 1 of 2

December 31, 2018

Best thing ever.

I’ve moved out of my parents house. Never felt better emotionally in my life. Details later.


Someone I share 23 chromosomes with told me I should have been put up for adoption and told me I’m a bitch.


November 18, 2018

Damn, Instagram.

Never been so confused in my life. I posted a pic of leaves on the ground. My cousin commented something to the effect of ‘love you, cuz’ and such. Problem is, this is the cousin who molested ...


October 17, 2018

Prayers appreciated.

Hello friends. I need y’all to pray for me. Please. I’ve been sick with pneumonia/bronchitis since late September. I’m on the mend, but not there yet. The steroid (Prednisone) is helping with...


October 05, 2018

Coughing up a storm.

Guys, I’m sick. 1) I violently coughed for 2 whole weeks with no medical attention, thinking it would get better/go away. It didn’t, so I went to the ER last weekend. Turns out, I had pneumonia...


October 02, 2018

For the record

Pneumonia + no PTO time sucks. Also, how TF am I working harder than my healthy co-workers?


September 21, 2018

Confessions.

I don’t have bipolar/PTSD/ADHD/anxiety or any other mental illness. I also don’t have tachycardia or any heart issue they’re testing me for. The real reasons for my perceived health (mental as w...


September 03, 2018

Bye, y’all.

Sorry, but I can’t do this shit anymore. I fucking tried. I fucking fought. HARD. But I lost.


Every time I go inpatient, somebody dies. My manager passed away.


August 15, 2018

Back.

3 days was long enough. Four times in one year is too much. I might apply for disability. The diagnoses and pills keep adding up.


August 12, 2018

Again.

I’m in the hospital.


August 11, 2018

I snapped.

Finally told my sperm donor what I thought of him. Now, I’m homeless. Worth it, though. I meant it when I said I hope he dies and burns in hell.


August 01, 2018

That took a lot out of me.

My cousin Rufus. He’s the reason I love big dogs. He taught me so much. Taught me how to train dogs. Introduced me to vegetarianism. At the age of nine, I had my first job as his assistant. He p...


July 10, 2018

Heartbroken.

I just don’t have words.


July 09, 2018

...

My cousin passed this morning.


Well, so much has happened that I don’t remember if I actually wrote everything out, and things are going well for me so I don’t want to look at my past entries right now just in case I get trigg...


June 27, 2018

...

Sometimes, I’m ok. But today, I would like to swallow all my pills. Not gonna do it, but I want to.


June 26, 2018

I need a break.

I was using my dad’s car, because mine was repossessed. Now, I’m sitting in my program, about to go to lunch. His car isn’t there anymore. It’s been repossessed.


June 24, 2018

Hacked.

Sorry for the previous entry! I wasn’t finished with it all the way. Turns out, my phone was hacked. I knew something seemed different. I googled the things that were happening, and confirmed th...


June 21, 2018

Speechless.

I had major surgery in November 2016. My beloved Grandma passed the very next month. I was hospitalized last summer. My Nanny passed in October. That’s when I was sure that my Grandma’s death w...


June 19, 2018

Life...

Life is hard. That’s why I just spend most of the month in 2 hospitals. My 5 year old cousin had (unexpected) brain surgery My car got repossessed, and I have no idea how I’ll e getting around I...


I no longer want to die.


June 10, 2018

Again.

I’m bout to be extracted from my room and forced to go back to the hospital. Shit.


June 10, 2018

Fuck it.

All I want, is what I fucking deserve. Someone to listen. To believe me. To tell me I didn’t deserve all the abuse I suffered. To tell me I deserve better. To tell me I’m worth it. And YOU wan...


I’m here. Alive. Somewhat stable after 5 nights in the hospital. Should have stayed longer. New medicine is expensive, over 1,000.


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