May 9 reflections and events in Reflection’s

I am extremely relieved the mating season seems to be over for my two birds. When Maxi would lay an egg, I would throw it in the garbage and feel bad about it because I can’t have a whole bunch of birds here. I felt like such a killer. The poor bird was so confused. Twice she was inside my shirt and I thought she was trying to find some warmth and take a nap, but she laid eggs there. Twice she laid eggs in her cage, and they ruled off the platform and broke. I think it was two other times she laid them in her bed, and I tossed them out when she was not looking. The most worrisome part was when she just laying in bed as if she was lying on some eggs in the nest. She was weak, bad tempered, and I thought she was dying. After three days, she started getting up more until finally today she isn’t trying to sleep. She’s flying around the house, snuggling with buddy. she’s back to her old behavior. I was worried sick. Today I got on the treadmill for 40 minutes and as I started, she crawled underneath my chin like she used to and I think she slept there for about 30 minutes. A few times she’s flown onto my shoulder. Tonight I sat in the dark watching a Science Fiction program from Apple TV and she came to me, perched on my head, then sat on my hand and fell asleep under my chin again. She’s back to normal. All the time she was weak, buddy hovered around her. He’s a tough mean little bastard at times, but he was so loving and gentle with her. The beauty of it makes me feel tearful.

I have been thinking about getting screening material to repair some screens here. The local squirrels have been coming to my porch and running around and they know I may have food for them. One of them tries to get my attention he knows that if he makes noise on my door, I will go out. Several times I’ve seen him standing on his back legs where the door opens waiting. Today during a rainstorm I heard some very strange noises from my door. Clawing and panicked. I opened the inner door and saw a squirrel stunned, looking up at me in the house. It had ripped through the screen and got caught between the two doors. I did not panic or get excited I simply open the screen door and let the little bastard out. Not in any way tame. Mildly trusting as long as I move slow and don’t make noises. For my own humor, I always talk to them. I tried to make the tones soft. I got a butter knife, full of peanut butter and put it on a stick for it. We watched each other. Yes, they are cute but I know what panic is and I empathize with the animal. Eat yes. Don’t try to pet it. In a panic, it could latch onto my finger and cut me badly. I give all creatures except for many humans, respect. I ordered the screen repair kit late this afternoon. Looks like I’m going to have a new hobby.

It seems appears that we have had much rain this spring. Tornado warnings, but no tornadoes so far. I’ve read about drought in so many places on this planet and I will not complain about rain. I will be grateful for it and hope some of it replenishes the water table.

Bitch complain gripe.
This is interesting to me. To look at others, do it and look at myself if I ever do it and how much I did it in my past.

So much of it is when people cannot do anything about something or some interaction with someone. It’s often like an annoying noise we hear. People think it’s healthy to do it, but I think that’s a lie. A myth. I’ve had to look at my past and myself in the present about how I used to talk and how I do now. In the past, I would complain much or bitch or gripe. Much the same thing. Speak displeasure with life or some person in life. For many years, it was about work or people. I’ve learned that instead of complaining look at it and ask myself is there anything I can do about it? Yes or no? If I can change things for the better shut up and do it. If I cannot accept a person, don’t try to change them leave them as they are put up or shut up. So often people complain about other people when it is not for them to try to change them. My main complaints these days are things I can only do one thing about and that is to vote. I dislike a person named Trump very much and complaining about him does no good. It only makes me feel agitated. The same with complaining about other people. If we are in some intimate relationship with someone and find ourselves complaining all the time it’s time to get away from that situation in person instead of trying to manipulate and change them. Shut up and move on. My father complained about me often. A very memorable complaint was for me to stop being like I am. He found it annoying. I asked him how does he want me to be and he told me just don’t be like yourself. It hurt, but it was a good lesson about acceptance. Instead of OK, just go be whoever you are a person he wanted me to change to not be whoever whatever I was.

It’s taking me a few decades, but I’ve learned to accept people instead of complaining about them. One of my neighbors complains every time I encounter her. Instead of trying to get her to change and stop that behavior I try to listen until it’s just repetitive and then I have to go. Sorry I’ve got something to do.

People will write complaints about so much and I wonder why not do something about it or just shut up and put up? I learned that in the factory. Instead of showing resentment and complaining about something I had to do or interactions with another person just deal with it. Complaining about somebody being an asshole is useless because you cannot change the asshole to be a more pleasant part of a body. I was bullied a lot in my life because those bullying me knew they had some power over me in which my escape would be physical violence to them or quitting a job and getting something else. I put up with it most of the time. I laughed at my bosses jokes that we’re not funny and I accepted his brow beating, and there was a time in which I would go home and complain about him, but the reality was just shut up get through it.

When that voice goes off in my head to complain about something in life, I listen to it and ask what can I do to make this a better situation? If I can find a plan to do so and change things to be more pleasant, I will do so. if not, shut up and put up.

People complain about the most stupid shit in my view. Petty stuff that passes. I have found I make others comfortable around me if I bitch about something. I have also found the best thing to do is to ask if I can do something to change the situation for the better or not. If not, except you cannot change it and deal with it. The same with those obnoxious sons of bitches we all feel like griping about it. Getting wound up complaining about someone it’s not worth going to your local penitentiary for. Or dying we’re just making everybody feel like shit from your whining.