3:46pm in 日記

Yesterday I sit in class, the smell of his cologne wafting through the air continuously. I haven’t smelt it since 2019, but the smell is engrained in my memory.

As I sit there thinking of him, wondering how he is, the smell of him fills me.

His mother sends me a friend request on Facebook.

How would he feel if he knew I accepted her friend request? Would he tell me to leave him alone, stop harassing him and his family.

I didn’t contact her, she added me. But I still feel guilt.

I’m guilty of wanting to know about his life.

I’m guilty of still caring.

Today is a new day, another day to move on with my life.

I’m sitting here on the train, and the smell of my old perfume from 2019 fills the air.

This time, I don’t feel much happiness when smelling it.

I feel it’s a cold reminder that originally this dream was for both of us, and now I am doing it alone.

:)