Prosebox Has Updates? OPEN DIARY Can Top THAT! in Upcoming OD Improvements (Service Outages)
- Sept. 10, 2013, 7:04 p.m.
- |
- Public
In response to Prosebox's recent usability updates, we are announcing the ability to infrequently log into your accounts, beginning sometime within the first quarter of 2014 or later. Other features in the works are:
- A "screeching tire meets brick wall" sound effect with every server crash.
- 24-hour access to the message that tells you the Help Desk is down.
- An option to mute the sound of EWS weeping in a dark corner of his bedroom.
- A photo of me laughing beneath every "Lifetime Member" tag under each Lifetime Member's profile picture.
- More banner ads, including the reintroduction of the "Shoot The Monkey" ones you may remember fondly from your pre-OD Plus days.
- Weekly mud wrestling matches between ShadowKat and Decayed Elvis.
- A periodic loss of data resulting in the destruction of your entries and your personal information winding up in the hands of Russian and/or Chinese hackers.
- The resumption of MY diary.
- A video of me twerking.
- Higher subscription rates.
- Six more years of disappearance as soon as I see my shadow.
Rest assured that you'll be getting the same level of service you've come to expect from Open Diary in the coming months, weeks, or for however long EWS can keep his hamster alive and running the wheel that powers our server's dynamo. Thank you for your support.
The DiaryMaster has spoken.
32 Comments
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Lepetit pumpkinesque ⋅ September 10, 2013
The DM better mention the great and amazing Lepetit Pumpkinesque in an entry soon. She's beginning to feel like she isn't as important as she thought. AND THAT'S BULLSHIT.
The REAL DiaryMaster Lepetit pumpkinesque ⋅ September 10, 2013
If I do, can I get a positive testimonial for my diary site, Open Diary -- the GREATEST diary site on the Internet?
crystal butterfly ⋅ September 10, 2013
It took me 10 minutes to be able to write a short private note in Prosebox this evening. I've been doing much better than that on OD.
The REAL DiaryMaster crystal butterfly ⋅ September 10, 2013
THIS is the kind of thing I like to hear! I've just credited your OD account one dollar.
Kimber ⋅ September 10, 2013
A Schrodinger's Box reference wouldn't be out of place here.
The REAL DiaryMaster Kimber ⋅ September 10, 2013
We plan on selling Open Diary T-shirts very soon with the phrase with "I am logged in" on one side and "I CANNOT login" on the other. Anything else would just be the truth and a lie at the same time, which should be against TOS, but turns out to be SOP.
Kimber The REAL DiaryMaster ⋅ September 10, 2013
OD t-shirts!?! Shut up and take my money!
BTW, can I expect delivery before I descend into senility and forget that I ordered one?
The REAL DiaryMaster Kimber ⋅ September 10, 2013
Expecting anything from me in a timely manner is a violation of the Open Diary Terms Of Service.
Bee Girl ⋅ September 10, 2013
What about the random database error messages? I demand more of those!
The REAL DiaryMaster Bee Girl ⋅ September 10, 2013
You got it! Open Diary plans a comprehensive increase in the number of random database error message throughout the fourth quarter of 2013 -- MORE for paid members. If you're a LIFETIME member, you may not even be able to logon until purchasing one of our planed "LIFETIME" Lifetime memberships we plan on releasing to our Lifetime members for only $599 as soon as we can figure out how to process credit/debit card transactions, again, and apply the charge to your OD account successfully. I have EWS looking into it, I'm told.
Lyn The REAL DiaryMaster ⋅ September 11, 2013
I hope this includes my new favorite:
Active Server Pages error 'ASP 0115' Unexpected error /entryview.asp A trappable error (C0000005) occurred in an external object. The script cannot continue running.
Heh.
Deleted user ⋅ September 10, 2013
Epic Awesomeness.
The REAL DiaryMaster Deleted user ⋅ September 10, 2013
Ah! Undoubtedly a pleased, paying member of Open Diary.
Deleted user The REAL DiaryMaster ⋅ September 10, 2013
Oh no... no no... I'm sorry... yeah.. oh unless today is opposite day!
The REAL DiaryMaster Deleted user ⋅ September 10, 2013
ANOTHER violation of the Terms Of Service.
Deleted user ⋅ September 11, 2013
I personally hope we can expect the same "your entry did not save" error that I miss from OD so much.
june tilde Deleted user ⋅ September 11, 2013
what about drill man? wheres the fat little guy with a drill? did he make it through?
Deleted user june tilde ⋅ September 11, 2013
If you're referring to Psycho Doughboy, no. I'm afraid he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.
WistfulLove ⋅ September 13, 2013
lol..